A new romance either ends badly or bedly
Teeth shouldn’t be whiter than eye sclera if you want people to make eye contact during the conversation
It’s hard to concentrate on writing when you have to hold your tongue-in-cheek
We all do bad things, just some are better at PR
Those who will spend 2K on a table tonight: I will give you half off in my apt, create a bathroom line and be the hot girl who ignores you
People don’t change, your opinion of them does.
When people are talking about people they never include themselves
Drinking 3 glasses of tap water didn’t kill me, but a full bladder may
I don’t watch what I eat, I stare at it
If you don’t make the team, make a team
People will remember the things you don’t text them more than things you do
There is annoying and then there is Woody Allen annoying
The only profession that should be judged by the years of experience is prostitution
Millennial love only makes sense when hash tagged
Interviewer: what are your weaknesses?
Interviewer: This job will involve heavy filing.
Round or square?
Make believe and they’ll believe, then you’ll believe
To find serendipity one mustn’t surrender to pity
1 night being myself, 6 days restoring reputation
When someone unfriends you on social media it means they want to be friends in real life. Call them